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So, I’ve been thinking — what would be a good topic to touch upon for my second blog? I am so looking forward to the time I’ve written enough entries; I’ll be able to stop announcing at the beginning of the blog which number it is. Since there are some great ongoing debates in the kink community I touch on in my upcoming book, Hot Crossed Buns (see my last blog), I thought I’d bring one of the biggies up here, and ask for your feedback. |
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This one’s wonderful – if you want to start a good debate inside any group of spankers, just ask this question. People will express strong opinions and much conversation (often heated) will follow. Some will say, “of course it’s sexual.” With bare bottoms, nudity and the intense feelings spankings can engender, how could it not be? Add to that the touching and vibrating of sensitive areas, and who could possibly deny the sexual nature of spanking? Many people, myself included, believe the experience is sexual. However, numerous others will say spanking is absolutely NOT sexual.
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For them it fulfills a purely disciplinary need, a form of stress release, or something else equally nonsexual. These people will swear they never become aroused when playing, and for them it’s only about relaxing, letting go, trusting, discipline and/or behavior modification. If you have been involved in a spanking relationship of any kind, chances are you already have an opinion as to whether spanking is or is not sexual. |
And your opinion is absolutely correct — for you. The truth is, spanking is or is not sexual depending upon the person or persons engaging in it. It’s incredibly personal. For my part, I believe spanking is innately sexual. At the same time, I can also say that most of the time when I play, the session is not sexual in nature and doesn’t end in sex. I find it depends on the person I’m playing with, and the situation we find ourselves in. And even if I do get turned on while spanking or being spanked, it doesn’t necessarily mean I want to explore sexual activities with the person I’m playing with. I like to keep the really intimate spankings in my life between me and my husband (and a few select others).
So, my belief is, spanking is sexual…if you think it is. And if you think it’s not, then it’s not. Trouble only begins when one partner thinks spanking is sexual, and the other doesn’t. So, if the person you’re playing with thinks it’s sexual and you don’t, you may both need to communicate a bit about the kind of spanking game you’re playing. For me, spanking is often sexual, but not always. So this is a question to which I believe there is only a personal response. If you think spanking is or is not sexual – you’re right.
It’s whatever is true for you in the moment. That is your truth. Truth is not always about “fact.” Personal truths can be highly subjective. Anyway, because I’d love to hear what others have to say on this subject, please feel free to add your comments on this topic.
I was recently asked a question about what motivates someone to spank or be spank. I’m looking forward to exploring this in my next blog.
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